Wednesday, July 28, 2004
|LIFE
It's just one technical difficulty after another. I could use a drink.
Monday, July 26, 2004
|I haven't had internet access for a few days. I'm back, but don't have time to write anything now. Later, I promise.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
|A KNOT IN MY STOMACH
Just home from work and I'm worried about my friend Joan. I haven't seen her for a few days and it has me concerned. Not that there's any reason she should keep me apprised of her schedule, but we usually wave and say hello nearly every day, and if she had planned to be away, I think she would have told me. Hope nothing is wrong.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
|EASY COME, EASY GO
I had a date with K yesterday. I keep dragging him along to do touristy things, most of which he enjoys, but yesterday we just went to a beach he likes that is semi-private and swam and were lazy. We packed along drinks and snacks.
I was going to break the news to K about my engagement to Orlando/Hugh, but then I remembered how awful I felt when a guy I had been dating showed up at my door and told me it was over and turned around and walked away (true story), so I changed my mind and decided to dump O/H instead of K.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
|
Orlando Bloom came into the bar last night and asked me to come to his room after I got off work. So I did and we fell in love and will be married soon. Any questions?
Sunday, July 11, 2004
|
I got my eyes checked. No big news there, not even anything negative to report. Hurray! Not nearly as exciting as bruxism and breaking a tooth. I suspect there's not a single thing in my life worth reporting to the world at large. No celebrity sightings. Just an ordinary night at the bar.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
|
Is it just me or is Blogspot being seriously annoying lately?
Sunday, July 04, 2004
|
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
(Courtesy of jokaroo.com)
BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.
FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours
(Courtesy of jokaroo.com)
BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.
FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours
Saturday, July 03, 2004
|
THROUGH THE YEARS
Happy Birthday #42 to Tom Cruise. I think I was 13 or 14 when I saw it on tape but "Risky Business" came out 21 years ago.
Your are going to marry tom cruise. He is older and
wiser and still is quite charming. Congrats!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Happy Birthday #42 to Tom Cruise. I think I was 13 or 14 when I saw it on tape but "Risky Business" came out 21 years ago.
Your are going to marry tom cruise. He is older and
wiser and still is quite charming. Congrats!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, July 02, 2004
|
This is a handy guide that men may want to laminate and put in their wallet for easy reference.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know! , there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
|
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know! , there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
Yes, I liked Spider-Man 2 and had a really good time.
I'd write a review, but I have to work almost a full shift at each of my jobs today, and I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe I'll sleep all day tomorrow.
I'd write a review, but I have to work almost a full shift at each of my jobs today, and I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe I'll sleep all day tomorrow.
