Thursday, May 27, 2004
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CLOSING THE GENDER GAP
CLASSES FOR MEN
Note: Due to complexity and level of difficulty each course will be limited to a maximum of eight participants.
Topic One: How to fill ice cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.
Topic Two: Toilet paper rolls. Do they grow on the holders? Round table Discussion.
Topic Three: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic Four: The after-dinner dishes and cutlery. Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on Video.
Topic Five: Loss of identity. Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline & support groups.
Topic Six: Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
Topic Seven: Health watch. Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics & Audio tape.
Topic Eight: Real men ask for directions when lost. Real Life Testimonials.
Topic Nine: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.
Topic Ten: Learning to live. Basic differences between mother and wife. On-line class and role playing.
Topic Eleven: How to be the ideal shopping companion.Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic Twelve: How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you are going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
CLASSES FOR WOMEN
Women already think they know everything, but wait...training courses are now available on the following subjects:
1. Silence, The Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone
Before.
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After
The Game.
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space In The Bathroom Cabinet
Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, Not the
First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What You want Without
Nagging.
10. Driving A Car Safely: A Skill You CAN acquire.
11. Telephone Skills: How To Hang Up.
12. Introduction To Parking.
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space.
14. Water Retention: Fact Or Fat.
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon Eggs And Butter.
16. Cooking II: Bran & Tofu Are Not For Human Consumption.
17. Cooking III: How Not To Inflict Your Diets on Other
People.
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
19. PMS: Your Problem Not His.
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.
21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have.
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women
Notice.
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
24. Oil & Petrol: Your Car Needs Both.
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only.
CLASSES FOR MEN
Note: Due to complexity and level of difficulty each course will be limited to a maximum of eight participants.
Topic One: How to fill ice cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.
Topic Two: Toilet paper rolls. Do they grow on the holders? Round table Discussion.
Topic Three: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic Four: The after-dinner dishes and cutlery. Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on Video.
Topic Five: Loss of identity. Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline & support groups.
Topic Six: Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
Topic Seven: Health watch. Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics & Audio tape.
Topic Eight: Real men ask for directions when lost. Real Life Testimonials.
Topic Nine: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.
Topic Ten: Learning to live. Basic differences between mother and wife. On-line class and role playing.
Topic Eleven: How to be the ideal shopping companion.Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic Twelve: How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you are going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
CLASSES FOR WOMEN
Women already think they know everything, but wait...training courses are now available on the following subjects:
1. Silence, The Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone
Before.
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After
The Game.
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space In The Bathroom Cabinet
Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, Not the
First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What You want Without
Nagging.
10. Driving A Car Safely: A Skill You CAN acquire.
11. Telephone Skills: How To Hang Up.
12. Introduction To Parking.
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space.
14. Water Retention: Fact Or Fat.
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon Eggs And Butter.
16. Cooking II: Bran & Tofu Are Not For Human Consumption.
17. Cooking III: How Not To Inflict Your Diets on Other
People.
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
19. PMS: Your Problem Not His.
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.
21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have.
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women
Notice.
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
24. Oil & Petrol: Your Car Needs Both.
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only.
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